


The Honey Trap

by dracogotgame



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Draco is not a dog person, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Oneshot, Pets, old fic, puppers, reposted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-08-17 00:32:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16505705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dracogotgame/pseuds/dracogotgame
Summary: Harry's dog does not approve of Draco. Draco does something about it.





	The Honey Trap

****They stumbled into Harry’s flat, almost crashing into a table in their haste. Draco moaned in approval as Harry wrapped his legs around him and captured his lips again. His arms shifted to pull him closer, holding Harry in place so he could take his time with tasting his gorgeous boyfriend.

“It’s getting late,” Harry whispered, even as he tugged Draco over to the sofa.

Draco grinned and followed without protest. “I’ll sleep late tomorrow,” he replied. “Maybe right here, if things go according to plan.”

Harry smiled and looped his arms around Draco again, pulling him down on the sofa as well.

Oh, _yes._

“Confident, are you?” he teased gently. His green eyes sparked with mischief and Draco abruptly decided that they were done talking now. He leaned over Harry, clearly intending to pick up where he had left off. And he was doing a pretty good job at it too...

...until the growl sounded right behind him.

Draco froze.

Oh no.

The growling recommenced, louder and more insistent this time.

“Oh no,” Harry sighed.

“No,” Draco hissed. “Not again! Tell me this isn’t happening, Harry!”

Harry sighed and pushed him off gently. “No sudden moves,” he whispered. “We don’t want a repeat of the February incident, do we?”

“Those were my favourite trousers,” Draco grumbled. But he shifted off Harry— carefully and slowly. Then he turned around to look his old nemesis in the face.

“Hello, Godric,” Draco spat.

The golden retriever ignored him and bolted at Harry like a bullet, whimpering in concern. Harry scratched his ears and murmured reassurances but the thrice-damned mongrel wasn’t convinced. He turned on Draco again, tail bristling in reproach.

Draco was entirely out of patience. “For Merlin’s sake, you overbearing mutt! I am _not_ hurting him!”

“That’s right, Draco,” Harry sighed, swiping a weary hand over his face. “Yell at him. That will make him like you.”

Godric ruffed in agreement and clambered on to the sofa, situating himself firmly between them. Draco was willing to bet every Galleon he had that it was not a coincidence. The mongrel commenced licking Harry, wagging his tail in Draco’s face as he did.

“Harry, I’m just going to say it. This...” Draco declared, pointing at the offending canine. “...is getting out of hand. How do you expect me to move in here with you when your dog hates me?”

“He doesn’t _hate_ you,” Harry argued. “He’s just protective. Like _any_ good dog. Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy, Godric? You are! Yes, you...”

Draco gave up as Harry went about coddling his pampered pet again. “I’m just saying the farm is an option,” he muttered.

“Draco Abraxas Malfoy!” Harry gasped in outrage and went so far as to cover Godric’s ears. “If you’re suggesting even for a second that I put my dog down because you’re not getting any, I will hex you into next week!”

“Of course not!” Draco sputtered. “I meant a real farm! Where he can run around and chase rabbits and...Harry, I _swear_ I meant a real farm!”

Harry pursed his lips. “I think you should leave now,” he said firmly. “And you can think about whether this is important enough for you to get along with Godric or not.”

“But...”

“Goodbye, Draco.”

Well, that was that. He had been thwarted again. Draco retreated to the fireplace in shameful defeat. But just before he flooed off, he noticed the smug, victorious look in Godric’s eyes. Draco pursed his lips. Oh, he would be back alright. But this time, he would be prepared.

There was room for one top dog in this relationship, and it was _not_ going to be Godric.

 

* * *

 

  
  
Like any good Slytherin, Theo laughed long and hard at his predicament. Nevertheless, after ten minutes of snickering, he rallied to the cause. 

“Let me see if I understand this,” he finally managed. “You’re being cock-blocked by a _dog._ ”

Draco glared balefully at him. “Oh, you think that’s funny?” he snapped. “By the way, how are Daphne’s cats doing? All _six_ of them?”

As if on cue, a handsome Turkish Angora leapt up on the sofa and bunted into Theo’s hand, purring up a storm. Theo scratched his ears and gave Draco a condescending look. “As you can see, Sir Fluffington and his kin like me. And I happen to find cats delightful.”

“Oh, so they’ve stopped coming into the bedroom to watch you and Daphne shag?” Draco asked innocently.

“I don’t really want to talk about it,” Theo informed him with a sniff. “Do you want my help or not?”

“Against my better judgement, yes,” Draco replied. “I’m that desperate.”

Theo smirked and his eyes lit up. “You do realise this is a war, don’t you?” he asked, sounding rather excited about the prospect. “You’re engaged in a battle for Potter’s affections with his pet. I think this calls for...”

“Please don’t say _A Brief History of Muggle Military_...”

“ _A Brief History of Muggle Military Strategies,”_ Theo announced, wrestling a book off the shelf behind him. He ignored Draco’s groan of protest and thumbed through it. “Fascinating subject, you know. Have you heard of Sun Tzu? He’s my personal hero. I’m certain we’ll find the solution to your little predicament in here.”

“Theo, it’s a dog,” Draco protested. “I hardly think I need a battle plan to...”

“Are you shagging Potter yet?”

“Read the damn book,” Draco muttered, leaning over to help him. Theo smirked and skimmed through the pages, before finally stopping at something that caught his attention.

“Perfect!” he exclaimed.

Draco frowned as he read the text. “The Honey Trap?” he repeated sceptically.

“A real classic,” Theo affirmed. “Look at this. Muggle soldiers invading a well-armed fortress knew better than to jump in with their swords out...”

“This might be your worst metaphor ever.”

“As I was saying,” Theo continued firmly. “Distraction was a far more effective method. All they had to do was send in the Honey Trap— usually, a beautiful, seductive woman. When the guards were adequately distracted, they would sneak in and launch an offensive.”

“Definitely the worst metaphor ever.”

“Laugh if you will, but it worked,” Theo argued, pointing indignantly at the book. “The question is, do you want to get past Potter’s honour guard and plant your flag or not?”

“So you’re suggesting that I find a dog with the sole purpose of distracting my boyfriend’s dog so I can shag him in peace,” Draco clarified incredulously. His brow furrowed as he went over that statement again. Huh. It had sounded a lot worse in his head. Actually, the idea had a rather Slytherin appeal now that he thought about it...

“By Merlin, it might work,” Draco murmured.

“That’s the spirit!” Theo replied, slapping his back cheerfully. “Now get to work. The sooner Godric buries _his_ bone, the sooner...”

“I’ll give you a hundred galleons if you promise not to finish that sentence.”

“Always a pleasure working with you Draco.”

 

* * *

 

  
Harry raised an eyebrow as he opened the door to his flat, only to see Draco standing there. “Hello, Draco,” he greeted cautiously. Not so surprisingly, Godric made an immediate appearance and growled, hovering protectively behind Harry. Draco ignored him and focused on his boyfriend. 

“I thought about what you said,” he announced. “And I’ve decided that you were right.”

“Well, that’s new,” Harry said, sounding almost insultingly surprised. “Look, I appreciate the sentiment but you can’t turn into a dog person overnight. It’s really not that simple if you just don’t like them. And if you’re going to move in, we really need to think about how you’re...”

“I know,” Draco cut in, waving him off. “But I assure you, I’m committed to the cause. In fact, there’s someone I want you to meet.”

Harry’s eyes widened as a golden retriever bounded out from behind Draco and ruffed happily at him. The situation sank in and Harry actually staggered a bit. “Oh no,” he blurted.

Godric however, yipped in delight. He lumbered past Harry and all but bolted for their guest— their decidedly _female_ guest. She wagged her tail coyly as Godric sniffed enthusiastically at her.

Draco smirked and gestured grandly to his new familiar. “Harry, this is Helena.”

Helena wagged her tail and barked in greeting. Harry just stared, absolutely speechless.

“Oh, you didn’t,” he mumbled, shaking his head fretfully. “Just tell me you didn’t. Lie if you have to. You’re a Slytherin; you know how it’s done.”

“What?” Draco asked with an innocent shrug. “You said I should learn to get along with dogs. So I got one of my own. Isn’t she gorgeous?”

“She’s lovely,” Harry replied dryly. “I’m sure Godric will agree.”

Godric promptly confirmed this by running circles around Helena, apparently inviting her to play.

“Oh, do you think so?” Draco asked innocently.

Harry wasn’t buying it. He crossed his arms and fixed Draco with that relentless, stern expression that always made him want to sit in a corner and think about what he’d done.  “You’re astounding,” Harry informed him. “I can’t believe you would use this sweet girl as _bait_ so you can get to shag again.”

Draco cleared his throat and lifted his chin, trying his absolute best to look affronted. “I don’t think I like your insinuations,” he told Harry loftily. “Helena is my companion, my best _friend_. The fact that she’s a healthy, thoroughbred female with a gleaming coat and beautiful, brown eyes is a lucky coincidence. And don’t take that tone with me. It takes two to shag, Potter.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Okay, let’s put aside the fact that you’re morally reprehensible for a second. Assuming your little scheme works and Godric and Helena take to each other...”

“They’ll leave us alone long enough to shag,” Draco finished. “Isn’t it wonderful how things just work out all on their own?”

Harry had started rubbing his temples. “One more time, Draco. Are you _really_ not seeing the flaw in this brilliant plan?”

“No,” Draco informed him firmly. “As far as I can tell, everybody wins.”

Harry gave up. He threw his arms up in defeat and fixed Draco with an exasperated look. “You know what? Fine. I’m not even going to try. You’ll just have to figure it out on your own.”

“Works for me. Can we shag now?”

Harry looked like he was trying to suppress a grin. But he stepped aside obligingly. “Come on in then,” he said. “We might as well make the most of it while we still can.”

 

* * *

  
**Four months later...**

  
  
Draco woke up to an insistent tugging at his hair. He groaned and scrunched his eyes shut, batting at the disturbance. 

“Harry, we _really_ need to work on your idea of foreplay.”

Almost instantly, a wet tongue licked a strip down his face. “Better,” Draco mumbled, still half asleep. “But ‘m tired.”

‘Harry’ ruffed happily and licked him again. This time, Draco bolted up with a yelp of alarm. The golden retriever puppy wagged his tail and pawed at him, yipping up a storm. Draco groaned and scrubbed at his face.

“For Salazar’s sake, Salazar!” he scolded. “What part of _not on the bed_ are you having trouble understanding?”

Salazar just barked and licked him again, prompting Draco to pick up the little nuisance and tuck him under his arm. Salazar’s tongue lolled out as Draco grudgingly carted him over to the living room. Godric perked up at the sight and barked in welcome.

“Here,” Draco grumbled, surrendering Salazar to the proud father. “Handle your son.”

Godric nuzzled affectionately at Salazar before bounding over and licking Draco’s hand. He rolled his eyes and indulged the mutt with a petting. “Oh, sure,” he drawled. “I get you a girlfriend and suddenly I’m the best thing since old chewed up slippers, yeah?”

A chuckle rang out behind him. Draco turned around and saw Harry approaching with little Helga and Rowena tucked under each arm. An anxious Helena followed close behind, ever the overprotective mother.

“It’s your own fault,” Harry told Draco as he indulged him with a fond kiss. “All you had to do was walk Godric down the street or toss him a ball now and then. I hope you’ve learnt your lesson.”

“Yes,” Draco replied. “Never take advice from a man who lives with six cats.”

Helga reached out and gnawed at his sleeve. Draco rolled his eyes and picked her up, staring into those soulful brown eyes. “All I wanted was a shag,” he informed her solemnly. Helga wagged her tail and licked his face.

Harry grinned and wrapped an arm around him. “Still,” he said softly. “It could be worse.”

Draco stood there with his boyfriend, Helga gnawing at his shirt, Salazar chewing on his shoe and Rowena angling for his sleeve while Helena and Godric chased each other around the flat. A reluctant smile tugged at his lips because really, _this_ was his life now.

“I suppose it could be,” he replied.

Harry smiled and Draco leaned in for a kiss, only to be thwarted as Helga reared up and licked his face again.  



End file.
